(no subject)

[aslant]

earlier at dinner my grandfather says is the light on? we have to! before they fall downtown! travelling, motion, as falling.


it is raining & raining & raining. the lawn is august-green. everything is too full. gutters. shelves with dishes. stomachs. my stomach. we speak of whatever has no bearing. & follow it. we digest (someone says) as if in a panic. coffee is served and served.


you notice and you don't notice who does what. with what. and everything is a behavior.

Comments

[epha.livejournal.com]

i hope you are enjoying the coziness of a full stomach and not worrying over it (it's hard to tell).

your entries are always so pretty & i wish i understood more.

coherence!

[aslant.livejournal.com]

ah. it was an overfull stomach - the uncozy kind.

and worries, you know, they come and go. i can't decide if i'm worrying or not. i guess i am.

thanks about the entries. but you know - a little clarity wouldn't kill me. so, this is what the entry should have read:

my canadian thanksgiving

out of the ten people at the table, seven are obese or far into the unhealthy side of overweight. of the other three, one is a child and one is a senile old man, so perhaps they don't count. the one who does count is depressed and hardly ate (my aunt).

then there's me.

before dinner i was feeling okay with everything but then someone asked me if i had a tapeworm because i was so hungry. and then i felt so full that i felt sick and wanted to throw it up. but i didn't. the feeling stayed with me for hours.

and then later that night i was wondering why it is so hard to write down concrete facts. "everything is too full...stomachs. my stomach" was the closest i could get. and i had the distinct feeling that i was betraying something by saying even that much. is this because it's okay to talk about hunger but not okay to talk about having eaten?

i don't know.

Re: coherence!

[epha.livejournal.com]

oh gosh. i just realized that eating five different kinds of cake and feeling horrified at myself was a DREAM. (i just woke up). ugh, what a bad dream to be having ... either my body wants more food or my mind is scared it's going to eat too much.

at any rate. it sounds like a stressful meal, sigh. i'm sorry somebody asked if you had a tapeworm. blech. a) it's thanksgiving, which makes it one of the rare times of the year when you should eat as much as you want of anything you want and b) i am of the belief that nobody should ever comment on how much or how little another person eats.
and it's always so much easier and pretty-feeling to write about not eating than to write about overeating. but alas, we all do both.

and, you know ...

[souvenant.livejournal.com]

[ i love you, j. ]

xo.

Re: coherence!

[kleinekatze.livejournal.com]

just how depressed is she? she won't talk to me about it hardly at all, just that she doesn't like her job and that's it.

i love you jesse, are you coming to canada for u.s. thanksgiving?

Re: coherence!

[aslant.livejournal.com]

no, i'm not coming to canada.