(no subject)

[aslant]

- boss judy postponed my annual performance review meeting until next week. damnit, i dressed up today and everything! i am so stupidly upset about the stupid postponement. i wanted to go before krista, damnit, and now i'm a day after her. i hate that. sometimes i feel that i am not attractive enough to correctly perform in this job. i start to obsess about totally unreasonable things, like that judy will think i've been slacking off because i don't draw my eyebrows on or wear foundation or blush in the summer time (i sweat it off). i picture myself making an impassioned plea during the review, "but i've been diligently wearing mascara! you've got to give me a second chance! i swear i'll use self-tanner on my legs, i'm sorry you were so offended when i wore a skirt last tuesday!" and she would just sit there, tight-lipped, waiting for the right moment to tell me that my teeth are too crooked and that she doesn't want me wearing the color green anymore. argh.

- silly paranoia everywhere in my head.

- chicken cordon bleu at the burren last night was not cooked in the middle AT ALL. i noticed this four or five bites into it, it was too dark and i thought it was just weird ham. good thing my stomach is made of cast iron and spaceage polymers, i didn't feel a thing.

+ art show at the cafe is over, so i can go fetch my painting now.

+ my friend leah emailed me after two years, saying we should write letters again. in her email she said she read an old poem of mine and wept saying, why did you ever fall out of touch with this talented sonofabitch? i need cheesy positive reenforcement like this right now. ♥ leah.

+ invitation to roommate reunion night, for sunday six feet under watching at my old apartment.

+ the hothouse collaboration zine i participated in is ready for ordering now. limited run of 100, going fast! paypal button if you follow the link. this is a truly beautiful & unique zine to own, half photographs/art, half poems & writings each inspired by the art.

Comments

[souvenant.livejournal.com]

[aslant.livejournal.com]

1. haha. i would do the same! but it's interesting that her strangely close-mouthed personality leads me to believe she is capable of saying such things. she is passive-aggressive sometimes. sample conversation between her & krista:

judy: please print out three SIS screens.
krista: which ones? (there are over 500 options)
j: the SIS screens!
k: yes, but which ones?
j: (dripping with sarcasm/annoyance) the student information system screens?
k: ...

[at that point i was so appalled that i interrupted and explained to judy what krista meant. i mean, christ, we know what the fucking system is! we are not retarded! don't treat us like we are mentally deficient! oh it was so ridiculous, krista and i laughed quietly, afterward. judy will pull shit like that a lot, saying something very vague and then getting upset when we ask for an obvious clarification. gah.]

3. yes, the chicken incident was pretty silly. and gross. i did say something, though! i told the waitress (who was adorable with her irish accent), and she was v embarassed, and took it away, and brought me a whole brand new plate and did not charge for my meal at all. raw foods---haha. you know, my dad did the raw food thing for a long time. but i think they pretty much steer away from chicken entirely :)

4. ha! well, she's inconsistent. she is a hard person to explain. i had a wee crush on her, senior year, as she did on me, and i think were raheli not in the picture at the time, something might have happened. my little heart fluttered! she was a co-editor on the siren with me.

5. i was initially unsure about the collaboration aspect, since i didn't know my partner at all. but she came up with a really fascinating collage that really inspired me. i think the finished product is going to be very nice, too, a lot of work went into it.

xox.