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I wrote a weird zine, you guys. I'm equally proud and reluctant to let everyone peek into my head and my life like this.
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yesterday was the first day i thought, damn, air conditioning fucking rules. we had central air installed a couple weeks ago but this weekend was the first time it hit 90°. as much as i dislike the cognitive disconnect, no breezes and smells from the outside, i'm intensely grateful to be able to have normal brain function in the heat. otherwise i feel so trapped in my body.

saturday was the inevitable carousel of farmer's market, home for lunch, spicer brothers produce market, library, grocery store. we're getting into the madeline books something fierce. although penny is all recovered from her earache (with her beloved pink medicine, the amoxicillin in a cherry froth) i am still knocked flat by this cold, and have been since last tuesday. on friday i went for a strep culture and it was negative -- it's just an epically shitty sore throat, worse i've ever had. i am constantly dosing myself with alleve, ibuprofen, acetaminophen, nothing touches it and it worsens terribly at night. sometimes when i swallow it feels like the mechanics of my throat are all broken, clicking against each other. all this to say that even with the air conditioning, the saturday errands were almost more than i could take, and the rest of the day was spent in almost continual sloth.

sunday we went to buy penny a yepp maxi seat for kirk's bike. with the adapter bracket it came to $220, a bit of a splurge and one we've been saving for since we first spied one at REI a couple weekends ago. penny has fallen out of love with the two-seater burley trailer and we guessed (correctly!) that being up high and unenclosed would do the trick. with the yepp we'll also be able to drive somewhere flat with our bikes (the burley was never portable enough to bother disassembling and reassembling somewhere else) so later this summer we can go for longer rides. kirk took penny for a gleeful spin in the hot afternoon yesterday, i followed on my bike, and could feel the air (humid, pollen, grit) irritating my throat and threatening to trigger my asthma. my beloved bike, i've been neglecting you, but i'll be back soon! maybe in august.

july fourth last week passed in relative calm. our neighbor who used to let off the illegal fireworks has moved away, no more explosions rocking the side wall of our house. we resolved to do nothing at all, only a flag cake, since kirk and i were so knackered. at night, penny and i went to bed at the normal time, but then a small boom, and a red explosion illuminated the entire room. there was no possible way to sleep through it. so whispering and giggling, we opened the curtains and watched through the window for a half hour, huge lights blooming from the block behind us every minute or so, and tiny far-off sparkles in the hills beyond. the huge orange moon rose in the other window, too. by 10:30 it was over and we slept again.

i'm at work on a new zine, but it's more like an essay, a treatise, or a dissertation proposal even. the comparative literature thesis i wish i'd written, perhaps, on christa wolf and postwar narratives of reconciliation, constructions of time, la retour, together with the great post-reunification reckoning where east germans began to write about their own stasi files. and i'm writing my own 'one day a year' as a kind of meditation on these themes. i finished wolf's 'a day a year: 1960-2000' finally (i haven't forgotten about my book reviews! i will write some more up soon). on heidi's recommendation, i want to track down eva hoffman's after such knowledge and reread her memoir lost in translation.

any recommendations on other female postwar writers in this same vein? (of any war or nation)


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July 2013

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