(no subject)

five things you probably don't know about me.

• i use the word 'goofy' a lot, instead of weird or bizarre. but i say it in a suspicious tone of voice.


• part of my job involves forging the dean's signature. if you were waitlisted at harvard in the social sciences in the last two years, that was my handiwork, sorry.


• when i first moved to oregon, i thought sunny delight was a dish soap, not a drink. i got really grossed out at lunchtime that year, and i'm still not fully convinced.


• i am a very good parallel parker, i learned in a huge van.


• i intensely dislike certain shows, based solely on their theme song/opening notes. examples: seinfeld, law & order, sex and the city, frasier. theme songs/opening notes that can instantly repair a bad day: the simpsons, six feet under, the sopranos, carnivale.