the power of the beast compels you

[aslant]

i feel terribly compelled to write down the terrible things my mind thinks.

i am baffled and creeped out by the popularity of adam lambert: he often makes faces like he's taking a shit while he's singing. this is really distracting. last night i imagined him singing "burning ring of fire" about his hemorrhoids. he is so ridiculously broadway-musical that i am literally too embarrassed for him to watch the whole time he's on screen. i am not afraid of good camp, but he is a species of bad camp that is not just plain bad, it hurts my feelings, as kirk's mom likes to say about bad movies. i can already see the shots they will pick to use in his Proactiv commercial in a year or two. i will be really mad if he fucks up allison's chances, because she is genuine whereas he is some kind of terminator-style entertainbot sent from a disgusting california fametron future. he is like the main character from twilight, if twilight were a made for tv movie that aired on the CW and was filmed in burbank and pissed off all the fans of the book. i have never seen a single iota of sincerity in his singing, he's like those vampire rock stars from that one anne rice novel. he just turns on his face and out comes fakeness. ughghghg.

however, randy travis is a gentlemen and i enjoyed watching him alternately patronize and secretly laugh at the contestants last night. kirk told me stories about what his roadie crews are like (devoted) and he reminds me of kirk's dad, just a genuine person. he's so much nicer looking now that he's aged, even if he still looks weird.

my predictions: it will be allison versus adam in the final deathmatch, with that giraud piano dude as a third contender if he keeps making smart choices. lil is overrated. blind guy is still not that great, just a pity vote. he and dead-wife danny gokey will set up a travelling preacher-singer combo together. alexis doesn't care anymore, or was a little drunk last night, either way her arrangement of jolene sucked. anoop was cute, so was guitar guy whose name i never recall, they will both stay for a while longer.

sarver will go home tonight. or megan joy, if there's any justice in the world, which there isn't.

Comments

[mordicai.livejournal.com]

I always write in my diary about tv!

[aslant.livejournal.com]

haha, i know. i usually try to keep it to myself. it is a measure of stress elsewhere in my life that i choose to focus on fucking american idol today. my brain is like, don't think about the baby or the giant pit of money/house you're buying! focus on stupid famewhores and their lying mouths!

[mordicai.livejournal.com]

I don't watch that or I'd totally pitch in.

[handstil.livejournal.com]

I have a house question! Did you guys do an inspection yet?

[aslant.livejournal.com]

we just did it today and my brain is totally full and overwhelmed and we don't know what to think. potential major foundation issues, have to find out if we can even get an FHA loan for it. i mean, the inspector guy said it is his #1 issue and we have to get a foundation/engineer guy to come look at it next. or decide if we want to "run away screaming" (his words!).

[handstil.livejournal.com]

Oh God, I'm so sorry. That's basically my worst nightmare.
Is it just leveling that's needed or something bigger than that? We got our inspection report (from the woman who had her funding fall through) today and our house has some weird shit going on too but our actual inspector is walking through on Monday (ONE DAY before our option period ends w/no possibility extend because there are pending offers...) Ugh! Can this be over for both of us NOW please?

[aslant.livejournal.com]

bigger than levelling...it is partial support beams, partial cement slab. whole thing basically needs to be lifted, excavated, new footing & foundation poured, then set back down again. with expensive drainage for the, um, pond in the crawlspace.

we can't extend either, there are two offers in line behind us.

i am 90% sure we will have a foundation engineer inspect it, then only pull out of the deal if FHA absolutely won't fund it. otherwise i think we are committed, warts and all. it's just too good, otherwise.

[handstil.livejournal.com]

We are team lambert here. I see something in him, I can't really explain it. He is naturally a strawberry blonde and he has this way about him that seems ego fueled but then I feel that it's actually insecurity. He seems insincere because he is unsure of himself? I don't know, but the screeching is really fun. Plus, he sounds like Jeff Buckley to me and I liked him a lot.

I think Alexis is packing her bags tonight! Ot maybe Lil?

[aslant.livejournal.com]

hmm...twice i have heard the jeff buckley comparison, i haven't heard it yet. i will have to listen some more, he's not going home for a long time no matter what i think :)

ooh, alexis would be nice to see go. she looked so damn tired last night, like glassy percocet eyes or something.

[ricecricket.livejournal.com]

"i feel terribly compelled to write down the terrible things my mind thinks."

& that is the beauty of lj, in a nutshell.

congrats on that next step in the whole house process that you mentioned an entry or so back. i hope nothing stands in your way in the remainder of the process.

[aslant.livejournal.com]

thanks for the congrats! we are waiting for a potentially problematic inspection issue to resolve itself. i will be very happy when this is over.

[weetziefae.livejournal.com]

i read the subject as the 'power of the breast compels you'

and i thiought, oh lordY! are we at that part of the pregnancy now?

[aslant.livejournal.com]

hahaha. that's great. the power of the breast compells you to read my horribly boring tv rant! haha.

[rosesbruises.livejournal.com]

[ oh, i love some mindless AI bashing. i am incapable of watching without making snarky comments about every single performer. i am a couple of weeks behind, but you can bet your ass that once i catch up, we can egage in some FASCINATING cultural dialogue! ]

xo.

[rosesbruises.livejournal.com]

[ here are my long overdue thoughts on "american idol," now that i have caught up on all the episodes i had recorded and because, obviously, you've been hanging out and desperately awaiting my diatribe! ;)

i. adam: i wasn't sure whether to be appalled by his johnny cash interpretation or impressed. he's clearly trying to be avant garde, but AI ain't the place to do it, honey. sure, every season they have one or two contestants who are a bit left of centre, and they try to act as though they're going to choose the most talented person, regardless of his or her style, but we all know that AI is about commercial, disposable pop, ultimately, and ... i don't know ... i don't think adam's going to win.

ii. megan joy: is that her full name? or a hyphenated first name? i never know. i feel like i ought to like her and i probably might if she wasn;t so affected. every time she sings i feel as though she's trying REALLY HARD to be different/interesting/unique and she just comes off really fake and affected. affected and try-hard are my words of choice for her. alexis also fits into this category for me. next to allison, she just seems like a wannabe. i am sure she laments allison's existence, actually, because without her there, alexis would surely have been considered the real melissa etheridge/bonnie raitt/janis joplin of the season, but next to allison she just looks like someone desperately trying to be ME/BR/JJ.

iii. scott can sing, but he's completely passionless, which is weird to me because he clearly has passion when he plays the piano -- as in, you can tell he loves it -- but when he sings, i don't know, i just get nothing from him. (to quote kara). i don't know.

iv. danny: i am so tired of the schtick the producers put together every week. oh, danny's wife died. oh, alexis is a single mum. oh, megan joy is too! like, okay. fine. i am sorry that danny's wife died, i really am, but this isn't a competition for the most tragically bereaved person. i know they exploit all this shit to make you see how hard they've struggled, and what they've overcome, but i am really tired of how emotionally manipulative and exploitative it is. i should get over it, though, because of course they'll continue to milk it for all it's worth. danny reminds me of those singers who lead the youths in song at those creepy born again christian churches, like hillsong etc. he seems like a lovely guy, and he can sing, but i don't think he's as amazing as everyone else seems to.

v. allison: i like her. i think she's probably my favourite of the girls, though lil can clearly sing and sing well. but allison ... i don't know ... she sings with something gutsy from within, and that alone makes her stand out.

vi. matt giraud: i kind of liked him during the auditions, hollywood shows etc, but he grows on me more week in, week out. i'm with you: if he keeps making smart song choices, i reckon he could be a contender.

and so long, sarver. you're gone now, back to the fifth most dangerous job in the world, and you seemed like a nice guy, so good luck to you. you crashed and burned during motown week, as so many do. i can't say i was entirely surprised. i was kind of appalled that matt was bottom three, though. he didn't deserve to be there.

and anoop! oh, anoop, how could i have nearly forgotten you? you remind me of the kid in "slumdog millionaire" and you sing so earnestly. my mum loves you best. i think all mums love you best. ]

xo.

[aslant.livejournal.com]

hee hee, this is almost as good as watching it together!

adam: i was actually impressed by his nashville week song, it was quiet and restrained and not so screamingly IMAFAKEROCKSTAR or whatever. but yeah, i don't think he did jeff buckley's ring of fire that well.

megan joy: i think it is her middle name? but yeah, she annoys me now. i really don't get why the judges fawn over her, i find her dancing ridiculous and her singing style definitely forced. or that she's quirky in the exact same way every time, without being interesting about it.

scott: i really don't think he's a good singer anymore. if i just listen to the vocal, it's not AI-worthy, even though his piano skills are clearly great. every song he sings is not-so-secretly about jesus and god, if you listen! that part creeps me out. i don't think he knows he is a closet christian poprock superstar, but he is. that's where his career is fated to go, i'm afraid.

danny: yeah, i'm not a fan. the dead wife thing, yes! enough already. i think they've stopped mentioning it but he's alwayyyys thinking about it when he sings, clearly. ugh.

allison is my girlfriend, i want her to win and crush stupid adam in the face. it will be awesome :)

matt g: yes, brilliant. i think he kind of hates the show, though. when he was in the bottom three last week (not sure if you've seen that one yet), you could tell he was like, "this is fucking bullshit." his "let's get it on" in nashville week was AMAZING.

anoop is every mum's dream :) i think he's adorable, but he keeps making weird song choices so i'll be surprised if he makes it past the top 6 or so.

ahhhhh, AI, you satisfy something. isn't it tasty?