la mattutina

[aslant]

i dreamt my brother died. suddenly, horribly. this is the saddest dream i have ever had. the gnawing sobs, trying to climb off of an unnameable bus, metal glass doors obstructing me. having to drive to home, days and days; a telephone's murky gloss of words.

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j'espere que jamais faire souffrir quelqu'un comme je t'ai fait souffrit

also an intimate undercurrent to this dream. a face close to mine, or words or gestures. that same familiarity, a postscript to a love unseen.