roma 24 gennaio 1938

[aslant]

interrupted sleep and confused dreams. i remember only hearing faraway bells ringing from the house, calling me, and running on the stairs draped in a sheet and a coverlet. and so like this i meet a man, short and pale, dressed in grey. sleep interrupted by calls from a., the entire night is sweet and lascivious because of yesterday.

and at dawn, between sleep and awake, i thought i heard bells.

uncertain tomorrows terrify me.

now even my senses love a. terribly. my senses have always been alert yet gentle; never like this.

[elsa morante, diario 1938. einaudi 1989.]