a light aslant

last night at dinner at my parents' house we all sat around the living room and talked and laughed, planning christmas eve (fondue!) and christmas day (standing rib roast!). i found my old book of christmas songs and tried to play through a few. it was the most frustrating feeling to look at the musical staff and have a tiny glimmering of a thought where to put my hands. like an echo, but nearly painful. i haven't played the piano in many years, but one day my parents might give it to us and then i'll just have to learn again. i can't wait.