(no subject)

[aslant]

three dreams in three nights about walking on my broken ankle in its cast. i wake up so frustrated from these dreams: the dream-me has a less-broken ankle, is able to cheat and walk in the cast without pain, forgets crutches cheekily. i am so, so tired of immobility. this morning in the bathroom i realized i don't remember anymore how one gets up from the toilet without using one leg, the doorknob and the edge of the sink -- i think like a tripod now. i measured and the immobile leg is a full one inch smaller in circumference above the knee, where i've noticed the most muscle atrophy. it is striking how the muscle structure has changed.

i am looking forward to friday's appointment, when they will unwrap my leg and take out the staples (!) and my poor skin will get to relax for a short time before being re-wrapped.

tomorrow i am supposed to go back to work, a trial run. i don't know if i'll have the stamina for it; i went off the oxycontin a few nights ago and i'm trying to cut back on the percocet, and now i don't sleep through the night very well, i wake up around 4am and can't find a comfortable position. just recently i found a way to sleep on my side for short periods of time; i've been strictly a back-sleeper for the last month. i can hardly believe it, but it's been an entire month since it happened, which means i've been out of work for an entire month. july 11 - august 7.

but it's only been two weeks since the surgery, and i have another 4-6 weeks before they will fit me with a walking cast to allow partial weight-bearing and some physical therapy, right around the time school starts. after that, another 2-4 weeks before the walking cast will be removed.

Comments

[nevers.livejournal.com]

can you do straight leg raises from lying down? i had to do tons of those after knee surgery and they would probably be good at combating atrophy. the shrunken thigh is so creepy! although i have to admit i was sort of fascinated by how slender my atrophied calf was.

[aslant.livejournal.com]

i probably could, but the very top layer of my quad is doing fine, because it's the only muscle i really use to lift and adjust the leg (and raise it in front of me when i get around on crutches). the muscle that shrunk is the "outer head" or vastus lateralis (link where i just learned what the hell that muscle is called), which is prominent on my other leg. i'm sort of fascinated by the atrophy, too, because i like the shape of the atrophied leg better. i've never liked the bulgey outer head muscle structure in my legs, but it seems to develop naturally when i work out.

so yeah. i'm not really sure i want the outer head to come back, or even what i would do to activate it. i'm antsy to get to the physical therapy stage of this injury!

[nevers.livejournal.com]

ooh neat, i never learned the names! yeah, the outer head of my quads used to be extremely square-shaped (i haven't looked at my legs in scrutiny in so long that i have no idea anymore) and it bothered me. my pt was very focused on the inner head, which does a lot to stabilize the knee.

[aslant.livejournal.com]

i should also mention that the cast is HUGE and clublike at the end. it's not a typical cast, it's two overlapping layers of splint made of casting material, and the whole thing is wrapped in many layers of gauze and ace. the whole thing is very heavy. so the quad is being activated with some serious weight on it, on a daily basis.

[nevers.livejournal.com]

i was thinking that doing leg raises with your big heavy cast would be super-duper strengthening. but i t didnt' occur to me that you are probably already doing enough hauling it around.
it couldn't hurt to do abduction/adduction (lying on your side, lift the top leg, or bend the top leg and plant the sole of its foot on the bed and lift the bottom leg, depending on what side you're on) if you wanted to work your leg in new ways, but if you don't i understand :). i doubt it's very important to your healing or anything.

[aslant.livejournal.com]

right now i can't do the abd/adduction exercises because my leg isn't stable enough within the cast to withstand that kind of lateral lift without shifting and putting pressure on the ankle. ow. and i can't fully bend the injured leg, either. argh. i hate how many simple things i'm prevented from doing; it's frustrating to realize just how limited i am. i mean, i know i am, but after a month of weird restrictions it's sort of faded into the background a bit.

[nevers.livejournal.com]

ah, i see. ouch indeed!

[l-aurore.livejournal.com]

wow, it doesn't seem like a month has gone by but then again, my life is moving fast and i know how time can drag when you're in bed all day. i hope you don't have too much of a problem working tomorrow. good luck!

[meemoo.livejournal.com]

hello!
my name is emma, i'm friends with rmt on livejournal and in real life in nashville. i broke my ankle doing roller derby too, 3 weeks ago. we were doing stopping drills, and i decided to stop opposite of how i normally stop to try and get better and i felt a nasty snap and fell to the floor screaming. i went to the hospital in an ambulance and got xrays and morphine and they set my bones and put it in a cast. the next day i had surgery and they put in 9 screws and a metal plate. i broke both the fibula and tibia and also some mysterious bones in the middle of the ankle. a day after surgery i went home with percocet. 2 days after surgery they took off the cast and i had it just in gauze and ace bandages the next 2 weeks. recently i have been getting about with no wrappings at all, exposing my 23 stitches to air, and gradually stretching out my achilles tendon. yours sounds more painful than mine has been. i've been pretty mobile since a few days after surgery, going around on crutches. the swelling went down after 2 weeks, and now it still looks like a giant cankle but much improved. i have no sensation on the top of my foot or last two toes and i don't think it's ever coming back. but i just wanted to say that the last few nights i have had dreams where i am walking around on my broken ankle with no pain and no crutches and they are pretty frustrating. i won't be able to put any weight on my ankle for another 5 weeks, and i am starting grad school in new york city beginning of september so i'm trying to figure out how to get around the city with only one working leg. today i am taking my last percocet, because i have not been having any real pain for a few days, and i mostly take it to fall asleep at night. it's very difficult to find a comfortable position to sleep in, but i have managed to sleep on my side for a couple weeks now without too much discomfort, but still have to wake up every few hours to change position.

anyway, i just wanted to share my story since we have similar derby injuries. hope the rest of your recovery goes smoothly!

[aslant.livejournal.com]

hi emma! wow, our stories are remarkably similar. i had a tib/fib fracture, it happened when i went into a turn but otherwise sounds exactly like yours! my surgery was delayed 2 weeks after the accident because the swelling was so bad, i have a plate + 4 screws on one side and a narrow pin that goes over to the other side. i've been pretty mobile on the crutches (well, as mobile as one can be with one leg and not being able to carry stuff around!)

i am really surprised they let you take off the ace wrap and moving the ankle around...yours must be slightly different from mine. you should definitely get some more percocet, because as your mobility increases you might experience random bouts of pain! i am a wimp about pain, but doctors are stingy -- always ask for more!

i too am starting grad school (in cambridge) in september and although i should be in a walking boot by then, i am also super nervous about mobility issues. good luck to you in new york! i can't recommend the forum and diaries at mybrokenleg.com highly enough...i have my journal there, at http://www.mybrokenleg.com/jesse/