sexuality/identification
Nov. 8th, 2006 12:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aslantthis week for my seminar on higher education, we each discussed our backgrounds and experiences with diversity, whether by racial, ethnic, sexual orientation, religious, or other measures. everyone wrote a story about what their high school was like, what their college or university was like.
i wrote about how although i went to largely white, affluent k-12 public schools, i did have a lot of experiences with sexual orientation diversity. two of my best friends (one latina) were the first openly lesbian students at my high school; homophobia and the hetero WASP norm created an extremely hostile environment, and despite several supportive teachers and a large supportive theatre geek crowd, one girl had her bike trashed, other students were beat up in the halls or harassed in class.
at smith college, bisexual and lesbian students were the majority. my experiences at smith were so tied to exploring my own bisexual identity, and now i think a majority of my female friends in the real world and the virtual world identify as gay or bisexual. it's something that i really hadn't thought about before, because it's just the background of my life, and i guess i've been taking that for granted. but reading through what my cohort wrote about their own experiences, i realized there was probably not a single gay or bisexual girl in the group. so far this year i have felt disconnected from my cohort because being an introvert on crutches has prevented a lot of social opportunities, but now i am realizing a greater disconnect exists because suddenly almost all of my peers in this 50+ cohort are straight women. (there are maybe 10 guys in the group, 2 of whom are gay and conservative.)
i guess being out of the smith environment and in a heterosexual relationship for the last five years has really dimmed my awareness of sexuality; but the discussions in class today really drove home for me how straight these girls are, and how much i've taken for granted a more fluid understanding of sexuality in my personal life. it makes me a little sad that i won't get to connect with some of these people on that level, because i guess it has informed my personality more than i'd thought.
but there are so many issues tied to bisexual identity that keep me from speaking up about it, not the least of which being the feeling that my affinity with homosexuality is not "extreme" enough for my sexuality to "count". but it does count, because i sat there thinking about it for the last three hours, and then sat down and wrote about it here.
i wrote about how although i went to largely white, affluent k-12 public schools, i did have a lot of experiences with sexual orientation diversity. two of my best friends (one latina) were the first openly lesbian students at my high school; homophobia and the hetero WASP norm created an extremely hostile environment, and despite several supportive teachers and a large supportive theatre geek crowd, one girl had her bike trashed, other students were beat up in the halls or harassed in class.
at smith college, bisexual and lesbian students were the majority. my experiences at smith were so tied to exploring my own bisexual identity, and now i think a majority of my female friends in the real world and the virtual world identify as gay or bisexual. it's something that i really hadn't thought about before, because it's just the background of my life, and i guess i've been taking that for granted. but reading through what my cohort wrote about their own experiences, i realized there was probably not a single gay or bisexual girl in the group. so far this year i have felt disconnected from my cohort because being an introvert on crutches has prevented a lot of social opportunities, but now i am realizing a greater disconnect exists because suddenly almost all of my peers in this 50+ cohort are straight women. (there are maybe 10 guys in the group, 2 of whom are gay and conservative.)
i guess being out of the smith environment and in a heterosexual relationship for the last five years has really dimmed my awareness of sexuality; but the discussions in class today really drove home for me how straight these girls are, and how much i've taken for granted a more fluid understanding of sexuality in my personal life. it makes me a little sad that i won't get to connect with some of these people on that level, because i guess it has informed my personality more than i'd thought.
but there are so many issues tied to bisexual identity that keep me from speaking up about it, not the least of which being the feeling that my affinity with homosexuality is not "extreme" enough for my sexuality to "count". but it does count, because i sat there thinking about it for the last three hours, and then sat down and wrote about it here.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-11-08 06:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-08 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-08 06:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-08 06:40 pm (UTC)being at hgse had made me think a lot about white privilege and how i have experienced very little racial diversity, and how important issues of diversity are to my understanding of a functional, progressive campus.
also, it's funny how progressively identifying as more straight has resulted in a sense of loss for me -- loss of specialness, loss of community, loss of identification with those around me, etc. and now i've come this far and all of a sudden it's important again, even though i feel like a poor representative to be speaking up in my peer group.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-08 08:46 pm (UTC)it does count. don't forget.
no subject
Date: 2006-11-08 10:58 pm (UTC)