<<rewind<<
Oct. 17th, 2001 08:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aslantwoke startled from a nap that overtook me this afternoon, to the harsh tell oh phone. that strange shaky feeling, lips dry, limbs in lassitude. later at dinner, could not bring myself to move, hold a fork, raise a glass, pass a dish. the sensation of having never moved, of having never spoken, ever. c says to me, perhaps you're still asleep?
i look around.
this doesn't look like my dream, i say. this doesn't even look like my waking life, i think.
i think things are fixed, some, with a. i will stop my childishness. it is enough. we are enough. as we are. i think.
bjork echoes up the stairwell from the living room. all is full of love. i could disappear into this song. i need to disappear into a voice, a room of a voice. inhabit a voice like an oversized suit of clothes.
berkman center interview friday; then nyc to jh and b. i need a book for the bus. sing the lament of poor penniless me, my ascetic bookstore forays with no purchases (no climaxes).
the symmetries of vice: we picked up a bottle of golden wine but couldn't drink it. i made curry eggplant but i couldn't eat it. something rebels in me.
i look around.
this doesn't look like my dream, i say. this doesn't even look like my waking life, i think.
i think things are fixed, some, with a. i will stop my childishness. it is enough. we are enough. as we are. i think.
bjork echoes up the stairwell from the living room. all is full of love. i could disappear into this song. i need to disappear into a voice, a room of a voice. inhabit a voice like an oversized suit of clothes.
berkman center interview friday; then nyc to jh and b. i need a book for the bus. sing the lament of poor penniless me, my ascetic bookstore forays with no purchases (no climaxes).
the symmetries of vice: we picked up a bottle of golden wine but couldn't drink it. i made curry eggplant but i couldn't eat it. something rebels in me.
